Women, for years, have been screaming about equality and how the head cannot amount to anything without the neck. It’s my fellow sisters who have been shouting from the rooftop that ‘what a man can do, a woman can do tenfold better.’ Interestingly, these same women who hold their heads high and proclaim that they are ‘emancipated’ and ‘modern’ play the victim card when their marriages hit the rocks. Suddenly, they demand to be fed, clothed and housed like babies.
Traditionally, men have been the breadwinners, and that responsibility has earned them the ‘privilege’ of being the ‘rulers’ of the family as heads.
Man has for ages been responsible for the management of all properties in the family, including his wife, who depended on him to provide for her sustenance.
This can explain the reason behind the idea of alimony – to ensure that the wife was taken care of after divorce. Remember that in the old times, women could not own property, besides a sewing machine maybe, that was probably bought by the husband.
So, if a woman’s husband left her, there was a strong possibility that she would be destined to extreme poverty. But times have indeed changed and as we enter the second or third wave of feminism, we are beginning to see a significant number of women, not only reaching financial equality with men, but in some cases, surpassing the opposite gender on the salary scale.
Many women who have gone to school and have the ability to make a decent living often tend to get too comfortable when they get married to financially buoyant men.
They abandon their careers and suddenly adopt flamboyant and extravagant lifestyles that they cannot otherwise maintain on their own. No wonder, they’ll demand exorbitant sums in alimony to maintain their crazy lifestyles.
Women should realise that times have changed and not even the law will bend to favour them, if they are capable to earn a decent living. If you cannot stay with a man anymore as your husband, why do you want his money?
I am of the opinion that once a society is organised in such a manner to make it practical for women, including mothers to have an education and careers equal to that of men, the issue of alimony must be re-looked, otherwise it might become a stumbling block to gender-equality.
How can women yearn, demand and call for equality when they still seek money to cater for expenses from the men they have divorced? How is this justifiable, when these women now have the same education as well as social and corporate positions as the men?
I think that as a general rule, adult human beings should be considered responsible for themselves, and telling young women that they do not need to take on the financial part of this responsibility if they get married, amounts to doing them a disservice.
Do not let go of your career or job, whether you are married to a rich man or not, in the hope that you will get his money once you are divorced, because you will be in for a rude shock. Women should advance their education and careers and continue making money so that if things go haywire in the marriage, they can walk away with their heads held high and continue with their lives without suffering any financial setback.
Women should strive to be financially independent even after divorce. That is the essence of equality.