A Kenyan village

Imagine a world where you are like 35, you live in a smoky hut in Yimbo.

You wake up and because of your ‘advanced’ age, you have retired from hunting and gathering.

You have been promoted to the council where you sit under a tree and make village-impacting decisions ,like whether Achieng daughter of Odero should return the cows in her father’s homestead because she put warus in her husband’s fish stew;

Or whether Omondi should be banished from the village because he was caught peeping at women bathing by the river.

And people just bring you cows for making such mind-shattering decisions.

Your daughters don’t struggle for suitors and your sons are the talk of the girls bathing by the river.

You fondly remember how you conquered their mother – you waited for her to collect water by the river and on her way home you and your homies just grabbed her and ran home while she pretended to scream.

You are generally a happy man.

Then came the white man and suddenly you have to deal with silly things like landlords; taxes; Mshwari stalking you; grown men quoting bible verses to their followers to validate their posting of their toys on Facebook…and WORST OF ALL- who taught Manchester united fans mathematics?

So they have a unbeaten run but the are still stagnant at position six, but keep yapping that they have surpassed Arsenal in the invincible record. just wow!.

Away from football, do you ever feel like the ancestors are punishing you?,

January has been pumping its chest so hard that folks are thinking of making sacrifices to the gods, yes true Africans.

A pal just bought bar soap worth 150ksh split it to several pieces, a piece for bathing, a piece to be used as toothpaste, a piece to be used as glycerine, you have to keep the shine.

Do the doctors who display poster on the street really work?

I need to visit one, the landlord should not be my regular guest in January, he is all over my social site tagging himself in pics I uploaded in December.



Just Gabuh